How gaming has helped me as a queer man

Hello, lately I have been looking back on my childhood and current queer identity. Looking back, games have definitely helped to identify feelings that I have had in the past. As I've recently came out as a trans bi man, I would like to talk about what helped within games to come to this conclusion.

Exploring through customisation

Through customisation I could have my character looking or pronouning whatever I wanted within reason. This customisation helped to make sense of the feeling that I was having. Do I only like men, only women, or both? Did I enjoy dressing tom-boy girl or did I want to wear men's clothes as a man? Through gaming I could understand these through what my characters were doing. Going into real life, this lead me to be more confident in myself and my gender identity and sexuality.

Example:

Animal Crossing New Horizons- buying new clothing and experimenting with different expressions. With this experimentation I could figure out if it meant I felt non-binary or if it was a faze. As the villagers don't really mind what you wear, I experimented a lot and came to the trans conclusion due to having the want to present and be referred to in a masculine way.

No judgement in games

Within games, no one is there to be judgemental of which gender you pick to be or date. In games, you pick a gender and that's your gender. You can date whoever you want despite their identity. No questions asked. As a shy person I feel more at home hiding behind a screen without the judgement of people. This has helped because it allowed me to just be me and figure out my identity with ease.

Example:

Sims 4: In Sims 4 you can make yourself in anyway that you like! As I could sit at my console alone, I could adjust my Sim self in anyway I could think and the Sims would all act the same way no matter what. With the pronoun update, I could also see if the pronouns would feel like me.

Inclusion of queerness in general

With the inclusion of general queerness in games I felt like I could be heard and seen in real life, just like in games. Seeing queerness like causally gay and bi characters be represented as happy also made it seem like it could be me some day too. With these messages I could hope that it was normal and no big deal in real life. It was. By being brave like the characters in games I had happiness and the support I needed and also desperately wanted. All because it was just normal!

Example:

Life is Strange series- Ever since the first game in this series, queer relationships and themes have been a part of this series. The developers make no big deal of it and they portray the relationships as normal relationships. They also included a trans character in their recent release too!

With all of these perks of gaming that allowed me to become the queer person I am now. Hopefully by talking about my experiences, you may be able to share your too. Thank you for reading.